Sometimes, I feel strange because I want to know everything about everyone. I never get tired of analyzing other people and learning what makes them tick. I don’t want to use what I learn to hurt anyone. I just think the characteristics that make people uniquely them are so wonderful and so valuable. Not everyone is appreciated in the way they deserve, and I wish I could appreciate everyone’s individual idiosyncrasies to let them know that someone notices and cares.
Just experienced an earthquake of 6.0 magnitude over here in the bay, and though I acknowledge the effectiveness of things like Facebook to check up on everybody and cross check our scary experiences with those of others - there’s something that feels really strange about the instant impulse to race towards the nearest smartphone to update your status before anybody else in the cleverest way possible.
Though I’ve lived here all my life and have gotten my fair share of quakes, I’ve come to fear these things as an uncanny mimicry of the unpredictable timing of disaster and death that can come to hit you, whether or not you’re in a state of grace.
That terrifies me, man.
Yet by somehow buying into the pressure of wanting to fit in and make a joke and confirm that I’m like everybody else by updating a status, I try to hide from the reality that these things do make me reflect on how lax and complacent I can be in spiritual matters. How unready I would be if I had to face my Master now. How broken I would feel if I knew of the eternity I’d lose without my parents or my family or my God.
These are things I don’t really think about often because I tend to take my comfort and safety for granted - but moments like these help me realize why it would be better to confront these fears much earlier rather than later.
May Your love penetrate my woundedness.